Friend gets mad because she is being used as a babysitter just so the dad can watch the World Cup at a bar away from his kids: ‘I told her I wasn't a replacement dad’.

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    A kid walking with the help of an adult, representation.
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    So, I have a friend who I absolutely love. We are in our late 20s & both Female. Every so often, my best friend asks me to babysit her kids (either I offer or I want to pitch in because she's done so much for me).
  • 03
    During this World Cup season, my friend had texted/called me about possibly needing childcare (after work hours) and we had created a contingent plan. The reason being, my best friend wanted to get her nails done and her partner might be working at the time. I am all for babysitting for my overstimulated best friend and don't mind moving my schedule around for her to have some time to herself.
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    However, I have always been a bit bothered about the way babysitting works with her, but I love her so much that I put up with it.
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    FIRST of all, I always have to wait last minute to find out if her partner is working or not (if he's not, he typically makes personal plans cus he knows I'm coming)
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    SECOND, I get told they'll be home by a certain time but she/they always make excuses about why they're gonna be late or text that they're gonna go to another place and come home later than stated.
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    It has always annoyed me, but I was very light about my complaints.
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    It's not that I don't say anything. It's that my best friend is very big on family or having each other's backs or just very sensitive about people she considers close to her.
  • 09
    Today, I finally put my foot down.
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    My bsf was having car troubles in the morning. So, I checked up on her around noon. Since she had that car issue, I was thinking maybe there was a hinder on the plans for the day. After check-in with her, she said she was still attending the nail appt and that she needed to leave home by 5:30pm. I didn't see much of an issue with that since I had a slow office day. So, I made plans to pick up my dog at home, drive to her place (~20min), and babysit the kids while watching the Mexico vs South Kor
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    I know how their game works tho or how they be doing the tango sometimes (whether intentional or not)... so, I texted my friend when her man was leaving for work or he had left already. I knew traffic was getting bad in the Bay Area, so I was counting my minutes. She didn't reply, so I called.
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    I asked what I needed to ask and she answered that her man's job for the day got cancelled (He works road construction) and that he was planning to go to the bar nearby to the watch the Mexico game (He's Mexican).
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    I got upset and told her that I wasn't trying to be ride but that I wasn't going to Babysit when I didn't need to. That I wasn't a replacement dad or that I also wanted to see the game. That I had agreed to babysitting because he could be working and she's an overstimulated mom who needs a few hours to herself.
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    My friend got short with me. Obviously upset.
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    Apparently she sent me a text not to come but I didn't see it so | called her to ask if her man had made plans to meet with anyone or if he could just stay home. She was short saying that I didn't need to come and that he was going to stay home. I was trying to compromise that if he made plans then he could go because they're also misusing those people's times but she already sounded hurt and didn't want to listen.
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    The night ended up with her making me feel bad because I told her "he can watch the game at home. I have two jobs. If he's not working, I don't see the need for me to drive back and forth". Previous, I had told her "I am not babysitting so he can go to a bar. I am here for you. Not for him. No offense but I am not a replacement dad."
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    Model image of the World Cup trophy.
  • 18
    Jonathan-Welford NTA - they always stretch the times, you've hit breaking point. Just make yourself less available for babysitting. If she was paying someone, she'd definitely be conscious of time keeping as it would cost her money.
  • 19
    • Fearless-Speech-1131 7h ago This is what happens when you let the little things slide. People always push a little.more to test the boundaries. That is the reason she got annoyed. Because their backup plan who never pushes back finally stood up to them and they can't have that.
  • 20
    SushiGirlRC "She's big on family / it takes a village" confuses me. You're not family and one person is not a village. Start charging her & see if they continue to stay late. Also, you work 2 jobs, ffs, now you have to be the village?
  • 21
    MienaLovesCats NTA they are taking advantage of you. Tell them that they need to find a reliable teen or college student for general babysitting. However you are happy to babysit for them in an emergency; such as they are having car trouble or they are in the ER
  • 22
    Firm Pangolin8868 NTA Also of course she's big on 'it takes a village' because it benefits her. It would probdbly be different if you needed her to be the village. In any case, the village starts in her house, the dad (of step dad - doesn't matter) needs to step up

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